Memories

I remember the day when I could call you and let you know what my day looks like, my moments of quietness and my moments of joy. Now it just seems so distant. I’m angry, sad and on some days I just ask WHY? Why you, why my number 1 person who I had that was in my corner at all times regardless if I was right or wrong. You were the 1 thing that I held on to that made me feel like I was a part of something. Mommy I miss you, Mommy I long for you, Mommy I just want to hear you just say ” I Love You” one more time. Our days and nights of laughter and you telling me everything will be OK is now just a figment and I so miss that one person who roots for me, who jumps through hoops for me, the one thing that was CONSTANT for me. As I write my feelings down, GOD who is so Awesome reminds me “WHY NOT YOU”. He had to choose one of HIS Best Champions, One of HIS STRONGEST, ONE of HIS ANGELS who’s VOICE, LOVE, UNSELFISHNESS, FAITHFULNESS and ADMIRATION for others. Someone who has a CANVAS of VALUE and ADVERSITY in which SHE OVERCAME and Had FAITH in the one thing that we all take for granted “GOD”. Yeah it’s hard and it’s a struggle to see you so DEPENDENT but I am now DEPENDENT on the CREATOR, the MOST HIGH the one who MADE YOU and ME and I know that as HE never left YOU HE will not Leave ME. Although you cannot understand or comprehend what day it is, or who I am, I know the one thing you do hold onto is that YOU bore a WOMAN who is an extension of you and my duty to you and GOD is to be YOUR VOICE and let people know that ALZHEIMER is a DISEASE that AFFECTS MANY and ALZHEIMER WILL NOT WIN! Not in my HEART, Not is my SOUL but it will be a CANVAS for a PAINTING that I will PAINT to let others KNOW that I LIVE this LIFE, I BREATHE this LIFE and I am AFFECTED BY this LIFE but it will not RUN my LIFE because YOU are a STANDING TESTIMONY of WHO you are and WHO you still will become as your LOVE and FAITH is what keeps me going. I know you feel my LOVE and I know you get ME but sometimes I just want to YELL at the top of my lungs and SAY MOMMY I MISS YOU, MOMMY I LOVE YOU and MOMMY I’m holding it down for you and as long as I have A VOICE, As Long as I have STRENGTH, You will never be forgotten and INVISIBLE SIGNS INC. will be the CANVAS and VOICE for you. I hope you are proud and I hope you know that your PUTI is still running the RACE for you and others who are AFFECTED BY THIS DISEASE CALLED “ALZHEIMER’S”